Long hairs unite!

Ok, what's the problem with having long hair? I've had to bear many stupid questions (to which my answer is) :

• Isn't it hot/warm? (No, if it's hot, I can bun it up and it's cooler)
• How long have you been keeping it? (Ever since I said "no" to the hairdresser)
• Don't you want short hair? (Sometimes, but it's like that, isn't it? Don't you wish you had long hair?)
• How do you wash it? (Normal la... Shampoo and condition)
• Don't you think you'll cut your hair? (Nope, but I trim it myself thank you.)
• How can you stand having long hair? (What do you mean? Act confused.)
• Your hair like pontianak! (Smile and say "Ya, I'm really after your blood" and laugh)

And what doesn't help me with all the questions is that I have curly/wavy/frizzy hair rolled in one...

• Don't you want straight hair? (Yes, but why are ppl perming their hair these days?)
• Are you going to rebond? (Not unless someone can pay $300 monthly maintenance for me)
• Isn't it itchy/scratchy? (Offer my head and say "touch". It's really fluffy like cotton!)
• How do you manage it? (Leave-in conditioner to protect and non-alcohol mousse to 'lock' the curls)
• Aren't you going to cut it? (And let me look like scary spice?! No thank you.)
• Don't you get split-ends? (Err, nope. No matter how bushy it looks, I cannot find a split-end. I condition and trim my ends.)
• Doesn't it get tangled? (No. All I have to do is wet my hair with my hands and run it with my finger and am ready to go. I look the same before I go to bed and when I get up!)
  

I think there could me many sincere and dumb questions and I do envy straight hair... and short hair. Because I have thin hair, it helps that I would never go for straightening unless I want to look like I'm balding! And long hair gives me a certain empowerment that I cannot put a finger to. Everyone around me especially my parents want me to cut it... It is sad that people think I don't look good in it, or hate long hair and there are certain discriminations against curly hair. People are afraid or disgusted as though I'm some Medussa.

Before you ask me dumb questions, ask to touch my hair and then you judge. Long, curly hair isn't as scary as that of a pontianak's, really. Well, maybe mine isn't as bad as people (have influenced me to) think. And to think I almost attempted to cut it short!

So I'm guilty of contemplating on snipping it up to above my shoulders. Then I couldn't bear to so I had it more bold-layered instead, from my chin to the length (which is now above my waist). I usually keep it slightly below the navel (longest length, not layered length). I have also cut my fringe to lighten off my hairline load and being the nincompoop that I am, I straightened it. But being the dumbass of a hairdresser, she layered my fringe to above my brows! And then I remembered why I never visit the hairdresser.

Now, I look like a little girl with a Jap hairstyle of long, layered perm and short chinadoll fringe. It is disastrous (to me). The consolation is, at least people pay hundreds to have my hairdo and I only paid $50 to straighten my fringe and trim/layer my length!

The worst question people ask me is

• Where did you perm you hair? (It's natural, I only iron my fringe once a while)
• Real curl ar? Cannot be leh... ( Smile.)
• But your hair look so unhealthy and dry... (Work the science. Curly=rough surface=>disperse light in all directions = not glossy like straight, black hair)
  

Hair ettiquette for men

If it's winter, and you're heling her put on a coat, you might help her by lifting her hair up gently, before she puts the coat on. Another way would be to gently wind her hair around her neck loosely like a scarf, and she puts her coat on over that. You don't want her to get her long hair caught under her coat, or have to sit on it.

If you are helping her into a car, you might help by gently picking her hair up and bringing it around to her front, so she can keep control of it. You don't want to shut her hair in the car door.

Be careful in crowds, because people will come right up and start touching her hair; if one of these people has a cigarette in their hand and they aren't paying attention..you know what might happen. So you have to be more attentive when you are in a crowd.

If you are walking down stairs together, if her hair is kneelength or longer, you might want to walk behind her, as her hair might drag on the steps behind her, and someone might come up and inadvertently step on it..painful.

If you go dancing, you should put your arm under hair, not over it.

If you are buying any clothing for them, you might want to consider getting something that will enable her to wear her hair down..fabrics like rayon, satin, silks, anything that allows her hair to slide on the fabric and not catch. It will keep it from tangling when it is down, and is much more comfortable, and you will like the way it flows and swirls more easily against this kind of fabric.

The same goes for nightwear. It's best if she wears something like this if you plan on combing/brushing her hair....I'm really on a roll, and I'm going to tell you how to do this, as well.

First, you have to be very careful, women are very protective of their hair, the longer it is, the more careful they have to be.

If the hair is longer than mid-back, I would suggest you use a wide toothed comb instead of a hairbrush. Otherwise you might tangle it.

You could have her sitting in a chair without a back, and you could stand or kneel behind her to brush or comb it. Yo should put one hand on the top of her head to steady her head as you gently pull the comb through. You might use short strokes, not going all the way through to her nape at first. It will be easier to straighten her hair that way, Or you might even have her comb her hair out first.

Another way would be for her to bend her head forward and you comb or brush her hair starting at the nape and going forward from there. It pulls less on the scalp, and you're not combing the more tender areas of the temple.

Another way , if her hair wasn't too long, would be for her to be standing or sitting in a chair facing you, and you let her rest her forehead on your chest, and you can comb her hair that way. That might be the best.

If you decide to carry her off into the sunset, yo shuld first bring her hair over her shoulder to her front, before you pick her up. Anything that causes her hair to get "caught" will really make her anxious.

Bed linens should be satin if she is wearing her hair down.

If she sees you treating her hair reverently, she will like you all the more, as she considers her hair a part of herself and you are honoring her when you do these things.

This etiquette was provided by Suzy, herself having floor length hair.

Tokmak

Recently, my granny just passed away. It was in the middle of the night when she was in bed and told my granddad that she felt breathless. He massaged her and she left the world like that. I'd like to see it as leaving peacefully, with your loved one by your side, painlessly. Almost ten years ago, my great-grandmother passed away. She was bedridden for 2 years before her passing.

May God bless their souls. Al-fatihah.

I didn't cry, although I was sad. As I watched my aunts cry while my granddad looked calm, I teared because I wondered how he can keep it all to himself. He is such a strong man.

The last time I went over was last Nov, for Lyna's wedding. During my visit this time, I realised how much I missed the charm of Malaysia. It is so laid back, even in kl... except for the traffic! Then again, I know it is not the place for me anytime soon... Maybe it isn't the country that I miss... but my family there.

Mindless?

I'm pretty much mindless these days... and am enjoying it. I'm making fruity meringue kisses, eating choc-mint brussels, chocolate crepes, watching ngc and discovery, reorganising my wardrobe according to colours... that's right. I've got colours now (think butterflies!) Ahaha... And god knows what I've been surfing online instead of my schoolwork! But come next week, I'll be on the bullet train to my exams. Did I say prepare for my exams? ~_^

Time to get mindless again. I've got a couple of weeks left!
Ahaha... (increase vol - soft recording)

Halloween not.

It's Halloween tomorrow and I'm not even excited about dressing up. Signs that I'm aging too fast?! I remember how Halloween found me the support of my life. He was there looking so dark and mysterious. I just had to ask him for the last dance. How many years has it been? Sometimes college seems like yesterday. And so the story began. I don't even have to beat about the bush singing

where do I begin?
to tell the story of how great alove can be...
the sweet love story that is older than the sea... ... ...

I usually do away with the mushy stuff. What is love then? Definitely not all the goosebumps-inducing acts. It's more subtle than surprises, gifts, words and poems. It's not about the obvious actions. Women tend to overlook the little things men do and usually try to find a fault to "make him a better man for her". I guess I do that sometimes. And I'm not really guilty of it!

The different Languages of Love.

• Service is a Language of Love.
  
• Gifting is a Language of Love.
• Sharing is a Language of Love.
• Time is a Language of Love.
• Sex is a Language of Love.
• Attention is a Language of Love.
• Patience is a Language of Love.
• Support is a Language of Love.
• Forgiveness is a Language of Love.
• Non-Judgment is a Language of Love.
• Understanding is a Language of Love.
• Mercy is a Language of Love.
• Compassion is a Language of Love

Of course, love doesn't mean that tingly happy feeling with a partner. It applies to everything and everyone. Love the nature around you and don't neglect or abuse it. Love the greens for giving you your essential minerals and fibre, and being the lungs of the earth (not when ingested of course). It is an intrinsic thing to love the nature.

Click here!

Click and read carefully

I found this site by googling "weapons of mass destruction"...
Now, I should get back to googling FTIR stuff for my pharmaceutical analysis report. Discipline, focus, focus! Right... I ended up putting in 3 blog entries and before I start crapping again, I'm outta here. Fade, Nina... now you know why I was MIA so long?

Sissy ol' me.

How much I've grown... Well, physically, not much :-( unless you call fats growth, which scientifically, isn't. An increase in protoplasm, ie. protein, would be considered growth. Accumulation of physical weight due to water, carbo and fats is pretty much expansion. Ok, that's besides the point.

I am starting to lose my men-mind... or maybe gaining more women-mind! First of all, I bought a pretty black satin dress adorned with colourful butterfly prints. Lately, my collection of pink items have increased 3 folds. I wear my heeled boots, not the rugged ones. I straighten my fringe to look prissy and gone are the days with the rugged rock hairstyle... Although I haven't fallen into manicures and pedicures (mainly because I cook and do stuff with my hands which ruin the edges and stain the cuticles). I adorn myself with accessories. I wear less kohl to tone down my old "goth" look. I carry bags on my forearm to distribute the weight. I am staring to wear face powder. I start to nag my guy friends once in a while.

Yikes.

Ok, maybe I am a little off the scale than I used to be. At least I still listen to only rock, classical, blues and some jazz. At least my guy friends still think I'm one of them. At least I still read espionage thrillers and have not read a single romance novel (unless you consider the Rice's Vampire Chronicle romance!). Haha... sounds like an identity crisis or sort of a coming-of-age entry. Yes, I'm in denial! Fine, I admit I like pink except that I would rather be caught dead in it. I guess it's time to embrace the pinkies and the butterflies (shudder). It's like men's ego I tell you. To be critical of things pink, sissy and un-rock. For the ladies, I now have something to fight for when my guy friends tease me for wearing pink and flowers. It is not funny. Pink is a nice, like Pink Floyd and I'd like to Shine On You Crazy Diamond cos it's the Sunshine of Your Love. It's really like Nights in White Satin when the Sultans of Swing sing Proud Mary who isn't Down on the Corner of China Grove. I'm like a Free Bird on a Magic Carpet Ride. Who says I'm on a Highway to Hell when this Purple Haze is great?

See, I still rawk!


P/S: Purple, black and maroon are still my favourite colours, especially in that combination... not the lilac kinda purple though. However I'm collecting more whites and beige. Damn, do I sound ditsy? Do I? Do I?!!! See, only women can pull this off ;-)

Daddy's little girl...

You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold,
You're daddy's little girl, to have and to hold...

Bedazzled

So today I've started wearing my new rock! A yellow sapphire set in a ring I designed. I think it's quite nice and simple and I know what to hand down to my future descendants... Haha... In addition to the 8 carat African amethyst pendant. The colour and the clarity cannot be compared to diamonds.

Goodness, I'm only a student and I speak of such riches... Oh well, for one, the amethyst and the yellow sapphire are my "birth stones" and I only got them for my recent birthday. I believe it brings harmony to the body with the surroundings. It's natural after all... I guess, belief is something people hold on to, to assure themselves that something will be right.

I feel after the long break from blogging, I have yet to get used to writing things spontaneously cos now, my mind is filled with so many things, I don't even know what to write about!

I've been keeping my mind free of issues lately and probably I find myself at peace (more than usual) since I pray more often in this holy month. There were a few periods in my life when I thought I was going to die. There was also a period when I didn't care if I died. Now, I hold on to life so firmly I get stressed if my cab starts tailgating motorcyclists. The last thing I want is for someone to get hurt because of me.

One thing I believe truly is that things happen for a reason. I reckon God has a lot in store for all of us. If life is always fair, would any of us have anything to talk about?

Whoa...

My last entry was on 7th June. And even now, I'm too lazy to blog. It's been a long time. Anyway, whatever happened to all the comments?!!

I like purple. Like my new African amethyst pendant! Thanks to Fazrul for getting it for me for my birthday. I just realised that I'm actually quite old when my sisters friends asked me what I was studying and what I wanna be when I grow up.

"When I grow up?!"

It struck me that I have grown up. I'm now 23... and still studying due to my "pursuing interest and flexibility". Ok, I did work a while. That's the reason I was missing over 3 months. It was horrible working and studying together. That's like burning the candle on both ends. Burnt I was. I faced mental exhaustion, sleep depravation, skin aggravation... ok, maybe I'm exaggerating.

Now I'm recovering back my shine and I spend my free time reading, sleeping and cooking. I must've been a cat in my past life. But hey, at least I keep the grey matter working cos my reading materials are the newspaper and the Discover magazine. Of course, I occasionally spruce it up with textbooks... :'(

Heck, I even have time to trim my nails these days. One thing I haven't gotten around to doing is hitting the ivories. Blog-wise, I may be back. I have nothing worthy to write these days anyway. I might be an occasional blogger. Wasn't I one? Ok, I'm gonna be a full moon blogger.

By the way, it's that time of the year when I have to observe fast. I just had pancakes with maple. :-) It better last the whole day!!

The sun in spring makes me smile, not the sun in a tropical country. Anyway, in the background is the cathedral, part of the Jakob Monastery compound. Very historic, very old, very lovely. Need I say more? 

I miss this a lot... In the background is the lake Nero. This was taken in a town in the golden circle, outside Moscow. Isn't it so wonderful? I still dream of Russia. 

Yes, Nina... u're right. I've no idea why I'm putting this one up. It's during my cousin, Lyna's nikah. It was held in a surau. This one's a winner... hhaha... Do I look like a minah kampung?

I can finally do this! Have I introduced Fazrul to u? He's been supportive for the past 5 yrs. I know... mushy stuff... Ahhaha... He'll get a shock seeing his face if he ever visits this site!

Strapped

Cash-strapped, that is, I am... I need to find a part-time job so I won't ask my parents for money to spend on nansince! I don't like asking them for extra money... I am a poor student :-( If anyone is willing to donate, do leave a message! Wishful thinking huh?

Over the weekend, I had my below-the-waist long tress snipped to above the waist. It's so light and fluffy feeling. I cut my fringe too! But because I have stupid curly hair, I straightened my fringe :-) I think it doesn't look too bad. Nina, I have finally found the way to cover this forehead of mine. Hahah... I sound stupid.

On a more intellectual note, I felt clever during my laboratory session on cell biology today. On a disgusting note, I ate a whole tube of Oreos. :-( I know. Pls puke it out for me. On an impulsive note, I bought a bunch of comics! It cost me half my allowance. On an adventurous note, I'm reading Andy McNab's Crisis Four. What is the summary of the day?

Aargghhh...

I haven't been so angry in a long time. I'm now feeling anger burning in me. I'm not sure why though. I just feel angry.

Sigh...

This whole week, I've been trying to adjust my template and it's beautiful... except that everytime I edit it on blogger, the image screws up :-( It doesn't appear at all... So I cannot use that new template of mine. It's frustrating cos I put in so much time to figure it out. (I learnt html years ago when internet was getting a boost, it's quite complicated now) Oh well, back to my boring stories.

If u're interested in the Singapore history, or wished Singapore is called N***k (pardon my vulgarity, quite an apalling word), u should read this entry. It's written by a local writer.

I have been watching the American Idol on and off and today, the 2 black women are in the bottom two. Is it a racist poll or more like a righteous one, where a black shouldn't be the American Idol?

Speaking of which, the pictures televised on the news channels, spread out in the papers now and then is sickening. I'm talking about the Iraqi abuse and lately, the decapitated American. When I say sickening, of course I meant sick to the stomach but also of the mass broadcast of the news. It's as though both sides are gaining sympathy, in a way... kinda pathetic, and sadistic. Whatever it is, neither sides are correct (morally, that is). Was it Ghandi that said that nonviolence is more difficult than fighting with weapons? (I'm not sure what exactly he said though) Maybe both sides are cowardly and unsure of what they want so they can play hide and seek or cat and mouse, instead of discussing peacefully. Of course, easier said than done. I studied history (at GCSE) and observed that those who don't compromise, fight. What we should not do is to generalise all Americans are dumbasses and all Arabs (specifically Muslims) as terrorists. That is very wrong. It is dumb to generalise. As it is, not all Americans supported the 'war against terror'. And of course, not all Arabs wield smuggled kalashnikovs or have an intrinsic desire to explode *solid matter from within. It's a dumb world. Oops... I shouldn't generalise the world as dumb as well!

*matter (science): all particles eg. humans, building, trains

5 GOLDEN RULES FOR FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER

I got this in my email. Funny how ppl my age are forwarding such stuff. Maybe the youth are taking their future seriously after all... Who knows? What do u think abt this? Is this analytical man making such a big fuss over marriage or is the bottomline, "we shouldn't get married"?

5 GOLDEN RULES FOR FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone).

Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:

Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important?

Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.

What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart.

To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life -bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:

Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.

Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:

Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.

How can you test? Here are some suggestions.

1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
2. Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing".

"So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?"

Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.

You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:

How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give.

By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:

1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
3. Do they show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them!
4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:

Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.

As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!"

If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.

It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married".

Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children.

You need to choose wisely. The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner? Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family? Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?

Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person? They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents' character traits. You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.

If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.
Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes.

Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work. Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control? Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!

There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel.

There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is being faithful?

These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person.

None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to, "Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you'. You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice.

Don't listen to your heart alone nor your head alone. Wait until your heart and head agree.

Asian parents?

In response to Nina's East meets West entry, I've decided to write some things abt my parents... My dad studied in UK for his tertiary education and also for a few yrs of elementary. As for my mom, she studied up till her Masters, here at home. My dad, a trained mechanical engineer and my mom, a trained surgical nurse.

Since young, they ruled with iron fists, except nobody got beaten. I never had a choice over what to do... From learning music to chinese to choosing schools etc. I hated everything of course. Oh, I couldn't choose what to eat as well!! I was such a deprived child over sweets and soft drinks. My sis, a yr younger, on the other hand had more things than I did. And everytime we fought, I got blamed. (btw, she represented Singapore for taekwondo in the previous Commonwealth games) U could tell u always got it worse.

Fast fwd: present
U could imagine tt I rebelled and all and duh, I did. I even failed my college exams on purpose tt I had to repeat my 1st yr. U see, I was always doing well in school and the better I did, the more demanding they became. So I failed it all to lower their expectations of me. Unfortunately, I got perpetually grounded ever since. I always couldn't go out as and when I liked and came up with excuses. Although I rebelled a lot, I was terrified of them. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. Believe me u, my mother can be quite the devil with words.

Then I met my current bf in college (it's been >4yrs now) and him, being a paki, has worse parents. Boy or not, no difference. I thought my mother was the devil. His is 100 times worse. At least now I have my freedom and he doesn't have his yet. See, he has 3 other brothers and I guess his parents treat them like treasures. What irks me sometimes is why he never rebels or retaliates. But he has been instilled the very traditional values of respect for the elders and not to fight back. I guess it's good in a way (so I know when I don't meet him, he's either in school or helping clean the house). He hates his values but he loves it at the same time. I guess tt's what most Asians are confused abt.

Anyway, now I'm way past my juvenility (if tt's even a word) and I am pretty much matured now. Still, my mom treats me like I'm a stupid 12y/o. If anything is wrong, it's always me. In addition to my sis, I now have a brother raging with puberty hormones. So he's no more the little angel who listens to me. My parents get through to my sis through me. I am like the bridge linking this ice-block family. She is a boyish, rebellious girl who thinks she's stronger than men, and never listens to anyone. It's irritating.

Anyhow, although we speak only English at home and don't eat with our fingers, we're still pretty much the asian family, and a much more liberal one.

Is this my most long-winded entry ever or what?! I know it didn't really flow out well... just bits and pieces.

domesticatedness?

I went grocery shopping today, came home and cooked sliced beef wanton noodles accompanied with wanton soup. Then I took abt 3 hours scrubbing the kitchen cos I had the urge to clean and disinfect. The kitchen is now bright and white! And I have a backache now :-( I really need to start exercising regularly again. That is my boring day.

I'm in bed wit a backache now and craving for chocs. I had a bar of snickers that I ate half and forgot to keep it in the fridge. When I wanted to eat it just now, it had ants!!! I know it's sad. It was the only chocolate available in the house and I was desperate and still am desperate. I threw it away of course. That is all that happened in my boring day. After the exams, I feel clueless... it's my term break anyway. Will be starting my new term next week! Human anatomy and physiology, cell and molecular biology and pharmaceutical chemistry modules this coming term.

I'm not even sure if domesticatedness is a word...

Summertime... and the loving is easy?!!

How long ago has it been since I blogged? Pretty long. Nothing much has happened during that long study period. Warm, humid, city Singapore air is not polluted but it is bad enough for me. Oh how I miss the crisp cool air of spring... or even that of autumn's. :-( Being in the tropics isn't that all fun and sunny. Trust me, the sun and the humidity is intolerable. Excuse me for being prissy. Ahaha...

I don't know how thick is the ozone layer above this region but one thing evident is the pigmentation that I'm getting on my shoulders, arms and legs. Not to mention the face... I don't get 'cute pigmentation' in the form of freckles. I'm not that fair as in caucasian-fair and not as 'yellow' as the chinese so I'm more reddish (though pinkish would make me sound adorable). Anyway, these little pigmentations will grow big and brown as I get older but to slab on the sunscreen on my body in this humid weather, I'll be greasy by the time I step out of the house, oil-free or not!

I wonder how the weather will affect my future. Will I remain in this tropical region or will I migrate somewhere nice? Europe is a nice place but I can't figure out where exactly yet. I prefer Italy to France though. I doubt I'd stay in Moscow although I still dream of Russia. It's way too tough there. Then again, maybe NZ or Australia... except that these countries have been flocked by asians already. Oh well, I'm still a healthy 22 going on 23 and have yet to earn a proper paycheck. We'll see about that later. Just need to explore more excuses to travel.

P/S: When I say I get pigmentations, they're like teeny-weeny reddish-brown dots on my arms and shoulder, and the face. But it's not as though I'm covered by red ants or something. I'm not that blotchy yet! Ahaha... Vanity.

atisha!-atisha! we all fall down...

Have I mentioned that I absolutely love nursery rhymes? Whoever Mother Goose was, I wish I'm in that soothingly rocking cradle... even if it's on the treetop, or on the cow that jumped over the moon. I guess I'm in that phase when reality actually hit smack centre on my wide forehead (which can actually mean I've a larger surface area of grey matter = more info storing cells = pandai) Ok, back to reality... science is a big interest of my life... and so are many things. But to juggle it all... I always get hit on the head by the one I fail to catch. I don't even know what I'm talking about except that everything is metaphorical and scientific.

I'm pretty sure I want a career in science cos that's what I can imagine dedicating my time to. Although I like cooking, I've never considered that as a career. So, I'm pursuing science... and it's interesting... but science in theory can be the worst thing ever cos how do u put it into words... I mean phrase it all in English?! How do u actually write an essay on mechanisms that only takes a few equations to explain? See, I haven't actually reached that stage of 'reporting'. I like English but when u have to translate science into English, it's absolutely horrific to me.

Comes to the point that if I were to pursue a career in science, this is what I'd actually have to do. Ok, it's not that bad compared to doing accounts or something. So yes... it is making me braindead. I don't even know if it's just me or the whole thing sucks. I can safely say that I'm not an 'under-average' student. Maybe I'm just sorta complacent. Or maybe I just want my bad cough to disappear. Maybe the coffee I just made is too diluted...

Oh well... let's not think about work at the moment. I miss freedom. Of the mind, I meant. At the moment, I can't of anything but work work work. Is it just this country or what? Although there aren't only S'poreans in my class, it seems like everyone seems all out to kick each others' asses, S'porean or not. Maybe my course is demanding in a way. Using both sides of the brain, scientific and not.

I miss running around in spring, basking in sunlight. Here, I dread the sun so much. It's scorching hot and it makes u feel yucky and sticky and icky and it's pigmenting my fair skin. :-P Ahaha... I swear my forehead is like the darkest part of my body. ~_^ Ok, it doesn't look as bad as it sounds though. I just wanna blog (rant) and not go back to my research. I just wanna hold on to times when ur only worry is not getting that pair of shoe ur size, or even when scraped knees were the painfullest ever. Lucky for me, I have the most understanding and loving guy loving me blindly. He would bring me coffee and bagels for breakfast on his way to school. I guess this is it for now.

P/S Nina: Nice dress
P/S Fade: Ur combination is really a greek salad!
P/S myself: How do I post a pic? Ahaha... Complete ur damn essays then think abt other stuff!

Seriously, I have to be strict with myself sometimes...

How do I begin... to tell the story of how great a love can be?

I am on the verge of insanity. I'm so so tired these days cos I'm so busy yet my school work is piling up. Well, the work might just be 2 essays but the research I gotta do... Oh mine god. I'm almost getting cross-eyed from all the reading I've done. And my PC's gonna go for repair tomorrow and man oh man... I'm gonna have a ball of a time hand writing 2 experimental reports and 2 freaking essays. Have I mentioned the ease of surfing for resources online is gonna be striked out too? Well, I like hand writing stuff and I love books... even the smell of 'em but when reports are breathing down ur neck, it is highly nerve-wrecking. Please don't say that I'm doing my work last minute which is why I'm freaking out. I've been doing the research the past wk already and I have barely 2 weeks for each and when they all have the same dateline, meaning 4 different researches for 4 different reports... ok, I'm regurgitating my words. Anyway, I've got a few days left. Wish me luck.

I still love science.

(mumble mumble)

I woke up with a throat so sore I couldn't speak. Even swallowing my saliva hurts. I'm muted today. Once again, I've another report due (which I have almost every week) so busy-busy. I'm now eating semolina milk pudding which I made last night. Its coolness and smoothness is so soothing to my throat but I'm currently craving for real food, although it's gonna be a torture to eat. Anyway, S'pore hasn't been hit by the bird flu but they have begun culling the chickens due to a 'preventive measure'. How cruel is that?! Well, of course it shows that they prioritise the people's health before economic benefits. Then again, I guess they're showing off to the WHO. Singapore is such a kiasu country. Did u know that we have the first driverless commuter trains to run? I wonder how much losses they are actually making due to the manpower and computers to manage the train (although they have done away with drivers). Oh no... my econs is haunting me obviously. Ok, it's a long-run thingy.

Speaking of which, remember Stalin had those '5-yr plans' and '10-yr plans'? The 7 Stalinist gothic buildings were built on these plans. They stand wonderfully haunting in the skies. It really is hauntingly beautiful although that castle in Prague would beat it hands down. Beauty oh beauty, where for art thou? Certainly not where I am, if ye haft not already known. Ok, I'm not a literary loving person, not arty-farty. I'm more like uhmm... ok, shan't waste ur time. I can't think of anything to describe myself except that I'm kinda mute at the moment. Hope to be return with a bang ;-)

PS: I didn't even do literature at my GCE 'O' levels.

Yawn

I am so tired today. I didn't even do anything remotely tiring! On my way to class today, I had to go through a horribly selfish society of train commuters. The passengers didn't wait for others to alight but just rushed in. I had to wait for 2 trains before I could squeeze in. I bet anyone could get away with molesting in the train. It's really tiring and disheartening having all these ungracious people around u. I was worrying for 2 ladies who wanted to squeeze in but they couldn't and they just stood at the door! Talk abt being stupid. I was commenting to my bf then tt those girls are gonna get themselves snapped! This is the Singapore MRT for u, no matter how frequent the train comes.

There are abt 4 million ppl in this tiny island and they are expecting up to 6 million in the future! Can u imagine that? We are already living on top of each other and inconsiderate people gets on ur nerves. With 6 million people, the probability of bumping into more ungracious, inconsiderate people is absolutely maddeningly higher. As it is, we pay half a million dollars (S'pore) for a tiny house with 3 bedrooms, 1 study and a hall. I think in the future, we'll have to pay that much to live in a hell hole. Maybe I should move back to M'sia. ~_^

Then again, not. At least not for now. When the society there are obviously liberated, I might consider. Anyway, back to me. I had clam chowder for dinner and after that, I had 2 naans with peas! The night is still young and I'm already batting my eyelids at my PC. I better try to get as much rest as I can so I will not fall asleep in tomorrow's econs lecture. It's complete torture.

To Fade, I'll talk abt my science interest soon.
To Nina, I wonder if u ever get tired of ur ever-interesting life.

Spakoini nochi.

The Sound of Music

My interest in music has not wavered since I started paying decent attention to it. It's all abt the emotions emanating from the very "song" itself. What genre am I talking abt?

CLASSICAL - the beautiful melodies and powerful voice of the tenor... u can picture a scene with every tune of it...
Likes Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and Pathetique, Mendelssohn, Mozart, Vivaldi, Strauss, Puccini's Nessun Dorma, etc.

ROCK - mainly classic rock with the original blues elements... and some hair metal rock... and also, "gothic" melodic.
Likes Led Zepp, Uriah Heep, CCR, Blue Oyster Cult, ACDC, KISS, Deep Purple, Bob Seger, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Pink Floyd, ZZ Top, REO Speedwagon, Cream, MSG, Whitesnake, Dream Theatre, Def Leppard, Marilyn Manson(old albums), Cradle of Filth, Rob Zombie, etc.

BLUES and some JAZZ. New Orlean's Jazz where blues became as it is and that cabaret jazz, mmm...

(CLASSICS) - some really really old songs way back from the '40s... like Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Astrud Gliberto, Andy Williams, etc.

Now u get the gist of my 'blaring' music.

When I was 4y/o, I was already thrown into Yamaha for those electone courses. Then I learnt the piano till grade 3 and the organ till grade 9. Of course including the sucky theory. I really hated it then... only after I managed to quit, did I regret doing so. Apart from that, my dad taught me how to play the violin which I so sucked at. I got a cousin to teach me the guitar once a while and after I can play it, I'll forget it a week later *bummer! Then again, anyone with a musical background can pluck out tunes... slowly... yes... slowly. I joined the band during the first 3 mths in college just to "master" the flute. I think I may have forgotten the fingerings... I'm not sure. Oh well... I occasionally play the piano now. Errm... I only play classical. Most of the scores I have are sonatas. And yes, my almost 20y/o Petrof may not be out of tune yet but it desperately needs servicing and polishing. I would love a baby grand though despite my lagging left hand! Such materials...

Saturated

Monounsaturated, polyunsaturated or good old saturated butter? As u can see, my brain is over-saturated that I cannot even think straight at the moment. I've finally completed my lab report that required me to do so much reading I feel numb at the moment. This is horrible. At times like this, when I was back in Moscow, I'd be playing tavli (backgammon) with my greek friends over and over, over a glass (sometimes a couple) of frappe.

I don't read mags at all. They make me feel cheap, ugly and fat. How disgusting is that? Although I did subscribe to Discover but it burnt a hole in my pocket...

This brings me to another point. No one seem to put my looks to a race. In Russia, some thought I was Russian, Japanese, Thai, Chinese or Vietnamese. Back at home, no one can really tell what I am. Well, my ID card states Malay cos ur race follows ur dad's race and since my dad's followed my granddad's... I'm Malay. Whatever happened to the women?! So if my paternal great-grandmom is Dutch, maternal grandmom is Chinese-Javanese and maternal granddad is Javanese, does that make me, Malay/Javanese/Dutch/Chinese? What's all these racial classification anyway? It sucks. Everytime someone asks me what I am (referring to my race), I say, a citizen of the world.

Busy-ness a disease?

Thank god I don't have this disease though at times like this, when reports and assignments are due, I wish I had that disease... I guess I'm too lazy. At the moment, I'm rushing for my lab report on some microbiology experiments. I guess I'll be busy busy (and u ask, whatta hell am I doing here?!). Oh well... just in case u'd wonder what I'll be up to, in the next few days. Studies are starting to creep up on me. I've been sitting on my laurels too much. Not that I'm doing badly or something... but I just find myself incapable of studying economics! My microbiology and chemistry modules are going smoothly and I just lurrrve science. ;-) Econs is driving me mad though. Nothing registers in my head class after class :-S That's right. I'm stupidoto when it comes to management. Be it my time management or my management modules. Ok, my boiling hot coffee has cooled down now. Don't miss me.

Moscow water park collapses

It's really a wondrous country... Russia. As they say, great things come to an end. However, this is a country that never quits... with the babushkas selling all they can from kittens to lemons from their summer farm, just to make ends meet. It breaks my heart so, seeing all these grumpy tiny old women so independent yet willing to pour their hearts out, when prompted. The promise of the communist regime, that every man will be taken care of, worked for these people and how they suffer now, because they never really exercised laissez faire in supporting themselves.

Anyway, Russia is one country that really inspires and amazes me. It really isn't the 'backward-drunken-communist' country that many think. It is the biggest country after all and of course, the government is deemed corrupted. Still, I believe they have the motherland's interest at heart. There isn't any Russian who isn't proud to be one. They went through a lot to be what they are now, cultivating a unique culture.

How many Stalinist-gothic buildings have put u in awe? And the domes of the cathedrals glimmering gold (which is actually copper I believe), and the unique structure of each kremlin... the Byzantine frescoes covering the walls up to the ceiling. It's really amazing, this country pious at heart, suffering at state, and notorious in its image. How many times have we been told not to judge a book by its cover? Look beyond the 'outlook' and u'll really see what's beautiful. Ya lyublyu Rossiya!

My condolences to the families of victims of crashes, bombings, collapses and any other mishaps that's not meant to be. It could've been me.

First time...

Reminds me when I first had to do lab reports... or the first time being in a foreign country all alone. Then again, how many 'first times' do we keep close to our hearts? Definitely not this first blog. It's pretty insignificant, me thinks. Anyway, be prepared to read incoherent ramblings and inconsistent incantations. I'm no writer and I guess the only reason why I'm in this is because I feel the urge to torture others reading my 'blogs'. Nah, I'm kidding... really.

Anyway, it was vee day today and while I was out nearby, I'm glad I didn't see excited skinny girls with flowers and balloons brimming with joy and miserable looking i'm-macho guys who thought they scored a 100 points today. No, I'm really not sore about lovey-dovey-kissy-dizzy couples. Maybe I see Valentine's as an establishment, out to set the lonely hearts on fire and the loved-ly hearts on desire. I'm not done. Well, yes, the 'market' benefits from extorting the poor boys buying overpriced chocs and flowers and dinners. As for the girls... hmmm... probably, they don't have much to lose unless they're still deflowered before dinner. What else? Couples in love get to 'be in love' on vee day and quarreling couples get to be nice to each other? There's still much more I can criticize but to each his own. I'd rather donate the money to charity than to spend more money on chocs just because they come in pretty pink and gold boxes. Oh well, that's me for u today, the first time. I am (happily) attached by the way.

Note: It's not like I'm drunk or under the effect of other substances. It's 0300h and I just watched WWE. How disgusting is that?