O Godot, Godot! Wherefore art thou, Godot?

I cannot explain what has been going on these days because I've been waiting for Godot... That's right... No idea why, but I feel that Godot will come soon.

Then again, if Godot ever comes, will I be prepared for it embrace it with my heart or will it be a blunt disappointment?

Sometimes anticipation drains one of enthusiasm.

I know I'm seemingly cryptic here, but hey... it's how my mind is working right now.

And it sucks.

See, everytime I type, the elaborations in each sentence are omitted. I think in phrases. Words.
Barely sentences...

Heck, I even think in punctuations. The most common ones are "???" and "?"
Occasionally "!" pops up in my head and when I try to think, my mind goes "... ..."

What more a story?

I can only wonder what's in store for me.

It's 0435h now and I still can't sleep because I need doughnuts for my soul. Blame KakLong for posting a picture of a boxful of glazed (and probably stuffed cream!!!) doughnuts. I'll probably try to queue hours for doughnuts tomorrow then. But they only sell by the box, and I'm not sure if I can afford it. Well... See how la.

A Child Called 'It"

I cried... Real tear-jerker. I didn't expect that to happen to me, not while doing what I love doing - reading. So, yeah, you can check it out. It was riveting and compelling. I wonder how anyone could do that.

A Child Called 'It'
by Dave Pelzer

Have I mentioned that it's based on the author's life?! This book isn't mere fiction but I was hoping it was when I read it.

P/S: Foung this link while searching. You may read snippets of what's to come.

Regards to all :-)

Cheap shot

So, yeah... the poll is a cheap shot at attention... and humour. Ahaha... Because I am so lame. But I'm just curious cos I cannot tahan pedas. Also, at the time I requested a poll recommendation, I had some funky idea, and by the time I could do the poll, it flew off my mind.

Smile and participate before it gets replaced by something more serious. As for the forehead issue, not enough response man... I prolly gotta go over there with my measuring tape and a chart.

You know something, I think I am queer. I've been told so, and I feel so. Sometimes, difference is a novelty... sometimes, it ostracises you. Oh well... whatever makes me happy. Now, let me share with everyone my 2 pet causes. I'm not Miss Earth, I know... but I have pet causes ok. People think it's weird. Some get shocked. But hey... a little sharing goes a long way.

1) AIDS is so scary... but it's increasing in statistics. And it doesn't help in education because to discuss it is taboo. Seriously. I'm sure, even if we meet, we're not going to talk about it face to face. I guess behind the screen is always easier to speak of something so heretic to society. See, my pet cause is to be protected. It's that simple to keep AIDS at bay. Buying the condom shouldn't be too embarrasing or difficult for anyone who decides to have some 'responsibility'. It is almost safe against diseases and unplanned pregnancies. With proper knowledge of its appropriate usage, we can beat the statistics and save babies born with the disease. But then... some argue about religion getting in the way of the condom. If they're gonna have pre/ extra marital sex anyway, still think about the sperms dying meh?

Anyway, out of the millions of sperms produced by the male at any one time (assuming ideal conditions), only ONE will fertilise the egg and the rest will die. So talk about the condom suffocating millions of sperm? I think saving ONE life is better than saving ONE sperm.

Also, all women should undergo a HIV test before planning a family. I'm sure we all trust the man we're gonna wed eventually... but sometimes, you'll just never know. And the lifelong suffering that comes along with it is gonna be way too heavy to accept.

Ok, that was long... but I already curbed myself from going into details. And it is difficult for Muslims to talk about sex. I'm talking about societal issues and the fate of the world!

2) Saving the Earth. I mean, within our means. How many of you have got a closet filled with plastic bags??? See, what we can do is simple. Carry washable shopping bags. They look so unfashionable but let's not risk the Earth's life further. Be it your mama shop, your Ah Boon store or the hypermarket, bring your shopping bag. It's a cloth bag that you can stuff into your glove box, or your trunk, or even your pocket! Ladies, if you can hold your wallet and handphone in your palm, why not carry this nicely folded shopping bag? Do not ask for more plastic bags than needed. You don't need it eventhough it's free.

Sometimes, we have to make a conscientious effort. So, before I go into details about how the Earth is ailing, let me conclude my 2 pet causes. I share it if I can. Sometimes it gets weird, but I know that people do listen.

With knowledge, people can make calculated choices.
Everyone deserves to choose life.

Polls

Do you know how to create polls on blogger? Is it possible? Or are there some funky widgets out there that enables poll creation? It'd be fun.

:)

Yes, it's now 0621h! I welcome Mondays with a smile.

Incredible!

Incredibly lazy, that is... in updating this blog.

Nothing much to write.

Though I might confess soon.

Aiyah... too many things ricocheting in this head of mine.
Do you know I've a very broad forehead?
Speaking of which, can I do a poll of those of you* who also have one mighty broad jendul?
Please reply in comments. (can also provide info for those* who have it, but don't come in here)

See, I always digress.

Oh ya, for those* who wants their confidentiality kept (for the jendul matter), please email me.

P/S:
Afifah - I passed 3 books to your mom, I think.
1) The Rule of Four
2) Like a Flowing River
3) Blood and Gold
I recommend you read (3), and (2) is easily readable... nice to share. Your mom took it cos you know, she knows you adore Coelho too. Finish up (3) soon so by the time you come here, you can bury your face in my Anne Rice section. To know what else to read, go to my LIBRARYTHING link on the left. It's as much I've managed to catalogue.

Mak Jang - Happy Birthday!
Had I known, it was, well, your birthday... when you came, I would've baked something. You know, I need an opportunity to exercise my interest. I call it an interest, not hobby. Cos I do it oh so seldom-ly. Yes, occasional is the word. And thanks for bringing me around the hospitals. It was interesting and insightful. Plus I get to observe the different local characters. Come again soon!

The 3 girls - Re: SPM results
I already know... Please share how to get countless 'A's. It's already very very very good... I mean very very very very good! And Jana... 12 As?!!!

As always. I'm such a geek.
Thank God I look otherwise (although it has its pros and cons).

Ok, I will write soon.
I promise.

In the meanwhile, please please update me on your* (and the rest's) foreheads.
*Only blood relations applicable.

Peace.

Thoughts...

It's 0242h and I need to sleep... but what I just did was crunched my way through a whole bag of keropok ikan! You know... the jumbo pack type! Hold on, let me check - 200g! Yeah, start shaking your head. I'm shaking mine too... while tsk-ing.

Can't sleep. Suddenly, I feel my mind at a juncture I can't point a finger at. You know, we are all realists, cos idealism always seem so far. Yet something just clicked in me, that I'm moving on into idealism while being a realist. Is this trouble?

I mean, it's possible to have such a balance, isn't it?

I'm not beating myself up over it, but I just feel like something is just off-balance inside and outside, it's seemingly smooth. Is this the calm before the storm? Or am I already in the eye?

Please enlighten the young one.

(And no, you can't have the keropoks just because I might have tempted you. It's nasty, really... after a big bag. Now just let me down it with some Pepsi...)

I kid you not. :-(

What's so wrong?

Over the long CNY weekend, there was a whole selection of movies to watch, offered by the various channels. Being me, I turned to the unusual, which is to tune in to the malay channel, Suria. Festivities drive me crazy. The least I need is for the main channels to run noisy adverts. Anyway, I watched 4 movies overall! (Which is quite an achievement actually... in malay some more!) The winners were:

1) Trauma
2) Sepet
3) Ungu Violet (indon)
4) Gubra

I thought the directors for all these 4 were amazing... either that, or I didn't realise how much I've missed out from malay films.

Trauma was almost a perfect thriller cos the director was subtle in letting us in on the schemes... until he/she did frequent flashbacks during its peak. Bummer.

Sepet was very sweet. Funny in parts. Significant in today's society as well. I don't understand how it is a taboo to date another race. If there's one thing I hate in this world, it is discrimination. And hypocrisy. Ok, that's two things... but aren't we all generations borne out of different cultures and races? But the ending... aiyah... it was so predictable but since it was such a sweet movie, I half expected a happily-ever-after ending.

Ungu Violet is another sweet movie. Towards the end, you thought it's going to be a predictable tear jerker... But hey... love makes the world go round. Isn't ungu violet in malay?

Then finally, Gubra. It's a sequel to Sepet. I thought it didn't cover much on Orked's life (I need the dots joined from that Sepet ending!) cos it made me focus more on the other story going on at the kampung. That, I don't know how real... but it is, however, crucial in educating the viewers. That disease which is so unmentionable it becomes forsaken... forgotten... all because of ignorance and weakness. I think it's a good movie but I read reviews which said that it should be banned! What? Any movie that educates should never be banned. Taboos are meant to be discussed... especially if it becomes one. Anyway, violence isn't glorified here at all... unlike most mainstream movies.

It feels so good to watch malay movies once in a while. =)
Except that I understand by reading the subtitles. =(

Notices due

Notice 1:
Apologies for irregular updates;
for keeping out of touch with some people, even when I know I should

Notice 2:
I'm not inspired enough to write

Notice 3:
Congratulations to Uncle ****** (daddy's only brother) for ... you know... should it be classified info? (But already a very public figure huh?)

Notice 4:
Tok Bang, I hope your eye op is a success.

Notice 5:
Afiqah and Aqela, you must be waiting for results right? Is Aqela in the blog circle? (if not, rope her in!) Well, Afiqah, it's cool that you're volunteering with the zoo! I so wanted to do that you know... Not the most glamourous of jobs, veterinary is, but you know what is rewarding. Don't think about the fact that veterinary is probably the toughest course ever! =) Read up more, volunteer and get more experience.

Notice 6 is a reminder:
Everyday I hear the rustle of the leaves as the wind blows... even if it's a slight rustle, I hear it calling to me... Sometimes, it sounds like laughter, like a tribal dance celebrating life.. sometimes they pour out their hearts telling me how everyone walks past it without acknowledging them. Suddenly the rustling seems to me as though it has its arms flailing frantically, shouting, "Hello! Hello! I'm here, do you see me?" (we all CAN see, but DO we see?)

You know I keep reminding everyone, don't forget the trees, the leaves... the very essence that creates the webs of life. What is the use? I don't know... When I have the urge to share it, I will. Maybe it annoys you, maybe it puts a smile on your face. We never forget God... yet sometimes we overlook the important manifestations of life. It never fails to intrigue me and make me wonder. I'm sure Tok Kamil will understand what I mean. He is after all, the "rambling man who rambles what he wonders". Maybe I can't put my thoughts into palatable sentences (yet?). I begin with baby steps, talking about the trees who love us so. I hope that one day, I can join the dots. Till then, bear with the incoherent thoughts. I'm sorry I cannot always put a point across, sharp but sweet.

Until I find the intermediary dots, I will continue to share the little bits and pieces I see (or feel). This is, after all, my diary, no? :-)

You know, even when I don't make an effort to drop by doesn't mean that I've forgotten you all... I have got a lot of love to share. But funny how when we actually meet, we don't talk to one another like how we write to each other.

=) peace

Yawwnnnn....

I had to go to school by 0845 but I didn't wake up till 0700! So I was about half an hour late for my "compulsory workshop". In case you all didn't know, I'm graduating soon, so I have to attend this workshop on resume writing. Thankfully, the auditorium was packed so I guess the speaker had to wait quite a while for the crowd to settle down. Hence, I did not miss a thing! Perfect.

We had refreshments which was great because I was starving and I didn't have any money, since I didn't have time to draw some cash from the atm. It's pathetic I know... but such is the life of a student, ey? So I had my morning coffee, sandwiches and guess what. Fried rice! Carbohydrate overload is not good for morning workshops. You get too sluggish. So I struggled to stay awake througout the workshop as the speaker went on and on citing examples. Thank goodness for printouts. I had slept barely 3 hours last night, studying in bed. I survived the workshop. Even got me a certificate of participation! Who will ever want to check this certificate?! Hahaha...

The afternoon sun was scorching today and I had to walk in it, to go to the NUS Medical Library. Believe it or not, it was intolerable, plus I was still feeling groggy... I actually opened up my umbrella to give me some shade as I walked. It was quite a walk cos I had to wear the wrong shoes. Women... vanity does come with a price. I got my textbooks and made my way back... literally across Singapore, lugging 3 textbooks, a heavy file, and a handbag, in the scorching hot sun... in a pair or wrong shoes. My hands weren't even available to hold an umbrella by then.

I managed to get a seat in the train and rarely do I sleep in the train... I did it today. I just dozed off. I woke up suddenly conscious of myself cos my head was upturned, and I think my mouth was agape! Talk about embarrassing... It is absolutely embarrassing. I hope I didn't snore or choke on saliva or something. At least I didn't drool! hahaha... At least I didn't miss my stop! I woke up 2 stations before mine so I had to sit and stare at my books cos I didn't want to see anyone snickering at me, which could get me grumpy.

I finally reached my station, bought 2 cream buns, and took a bus to the community club near my place. If you didn't know, I could walk there, but I had to be a weak and lazy princess, taking the bus for 2 stops. Plus it had rained and I didn't wanna ruin my pretty "wrong shoes". (No wonder it was so sunny) I had my lunch and went to the reading room to study. It was cold and I got even more sluggish and groggier... So I tried to nap with my head on the table as all students do. I could've gone home first to nap, but I would sleep till tomorrow and not get any studying done. Nothing seemed right, or comfortable... and this poor princess hid at the corner of the room, sitting on the floor with her head propped against the table's metal stand. When you're tired like that, you have to listen to your body. So I surrendered myself to slumber even when it was such a weird position and at the most unlikely place.

Managed to nap for an hour, waking up with a sore bum, creases on my face, and carpet burns on my hands. Even so, you know what 1-hour naps do for you, don't ya? It revitalises you! So yeah... I studied thereafter. It was all good. :-)

On my way back, I met my 2 taekwondo instructors giving lessons at the courtyard. Oh my god... They were asking me to come back for lessons. Should be convenient since they now teach nearer to my house. But it has been about 4-5 years since I did taekwondo. My Sir reminded me that I left it hanging behind, and I've got only 1 (or 2) grading(s) left to get my black belt. It sounds like a good plan. But 4 years is a long time away from taekwondo! I doubt I can do a jumping backthrust or the whatever hibber jibbers they do. I'm not in the shape for such things. (which makes it even more imperative I do it!) So yeah... I'll think about it. I would be the oldest member there! The group consisted of little kids... I would be one of the most senior though. Ahaha... Yeah, I'm trying to be more optimistic on this issue.

"always look on, the bright side of life... *whistles*"

My Sir compromised with me. That even if I don't return to get my black belt, I should still be in the taekwondo scene... as I used to. This consists of volunteering during tournaments and events as one of the officers. I'd check the nails, the paddings (see, I even forgot what those things are called!), sign them in, etc. Whatever I have to do to make sure the fighters comply with the rules. He tried to tempt me with a good deal... for the taekwondo open, which will include fighters from all over the world, as a liason officer, or whatever I wanna do.

I'll think about it... it'll be great to get back in the circle... but I will not be a student anymore. My time might be equal to money by then. Did I not just learn to write a resume?!

I'm not sure what the future holds for me yet... even if it's 6 months.

I need sleep. Look, I can't even write grammatically right sentences. Don't wanna have to sleep on the reading room floor tomorrow.

Upcoming exams:
- Clinical Data Management
- Diseases and their Treatments
- Dissertation

Let me pass out now.

Thank you for reading my long, boring entry.

Love those colours!

Sorry everyone... I've been really busy. I've barely the time to blog and read your blogs. Even if I use the little time I have to blog, I have no inspiration. Been pretty much brain dead these days.

Can't wait to be officially unemployed. Really soon. Then, probably I'd give the blog a facelift, update some features and probably let you have a peek at my "ambitious space" link. Truth be told, I don't even know where to start for that one! That one will really need a jumpstart! :D

I can't believe a year is coming to and end. I still wanna be a student with no worries other than studies. Is this what they mean by good things will come to an end? The things which come in phases, that we won't realise it's good until it has passed us by... Is this also what they meant by, we don't know what we're missing till we lose it?

I guess life is too short for regrets. So everyone, cherish every little moments that you live through, be it with your loved ones, or even doing the simplest things like walking and eating. There are many things we have taken for granted. I heard our laurels aren't meant to be sat on...

:-)

Well, seriously, I read somewhere that based on the study on the evolution of mankind, our physique is not made for sitting! I'm not sure if it's true cos I'm too lazy to research on that now. Can you imagine that?! Not sitting...

Couches and chairs would never be invented! Let's imagine then... our mode of lounging.

You will now have to ponder over:
1) what we have done the past year
2) what if we couldn't sit on our butts

Diarna likes to make you think.

You should.

Go ahead and stimulate those grey matter.

Cos when we take it for granted and get complacent, they can degenerate.

They're God's gift you know...

Just like the trees that recycle our air.

Give them (the brain, the tree, and everything that you have taken for granted... just not the TV!) a hug and tell them how much you appreciate them.

It's the thought that counts... So yes, you may do a "mental" hug.

:-D

Hey, I did manage to write a lot!


:-) Peace.