it's time to squeeze the brain

Sorry I've been away for so long. For those of you who anticipate my entries, I apologise. I've been busy studying for my exams. I've got 4 papers next week and I have to submit my dissertation intro by this Friday. Wish me luck, pray for me, God help me. Why? My 4 papers next week are management modules!!! *Gasp* I hate it a lot because I cannot write and write and tell stories about how this company employed this and succeeded yet another company failed. I can't wait for my 2 science papers in May, only because I CAN study science. Frankly, I doubt I'll pass with a good honours because my management modules' results are horrendously mediocre. Even the 'A's I earn for science cannot compensate for a better average.

Anyhoo, congrats to Nazira and Shahril. I hope Nabil will not turn out like you, Shahril... Hehe... I think everyone is keeping their fingers crossed! At least you're good looking. (Happy now?) =)

Ok, till I post my next entry, I've got a question for everyone. Please think, alright? You MUST attempt to answer this question:

"Construct a sentence using the word 'because' 3 times consecutively."
Example: ... ... ... because because because... ...

This is no trick question, by the way.

One more question: What makes the loudest noise without making any sound?

p/s: Kak Tessa, you might know the answer so please don't spoil it in my comment box ok? Hehe... If you somehow don't know the sentence and probably dying for the answer, email me ;)

Yet again

Today, well yesterday, I woke up at 3am again! I couldn't return to sleep so I studied, had breakfast, cooked and then it was 7am, I read the newspapers. I dozed off in the afternoon because I was reading in bed.

In the evening, my migraine came on again. So I just popped a couple of Ibuprofen cos I didn't want to drink coffee in case I can't sleep. Yeah, ask me what time it is now!! Anyway, I don't know if the painkiller worked because I was in good company and I had a nice lemon milkshake so I guess I forgot about the pain.

What's up with me whining the whole week? Well, I'm having some problems with prospective issues. I'm not sleepless because it bugs me 24/7. I don't even think about it. It's just there, haunting me. I don't search for it. It lurks and will remain a parasite till my consciousness drain out. Fine, I exaggerate.

Thanks to Kak Tessa and Kak Long for the tips on the previous entry. Of course the best is to shut yourself in a dark room and try to sleep but what if you have work to do? What if you have school? What if you cannot sleep? Which is probably why it was bad for me cos the more I try to relax and sleep, the more I cannot sleep. Wicked. I even take warm milk with honey but they just make my tummy feel queasy (although it's slurping good).

Worry not everyone. I will go for yoga tomorrow to destress. That is, if I can sleep within the next half an hour.

What's my muse?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things. Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments. You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it. You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle. You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Everything is right except for the math part. I can do math but I don't like it. Those numbers and formulae don't make sense. How many formulae/theories which you learnt in school have you managed to apply in life? Only the most basic trigo and algebra... some statistics too. That's about it, unless your profession demands some mathematical calculations for dimensions.

Beware: Turbulent emotions ahead!

I'm awake at this time cos I woke up at 3am! Elinn was making some noise and I woke up, having slept barely 2 hours. I've been sleeping early and I wake up way too early. I tossed and turned in bed in the dark for over an hour and succumbed to this damned wakefulness. Is that a word? I have a splitting headache, probably due to not having enough sleep this whole week. I've been sleeping 3 hours per day on average this week! Have you noticed the number of exclamation marks I've used?! There I go again.

I have an extremely big problem (possibly) to muse on. Hence the lack of sleep? I don't know. I'm not even sure if I should type it out here. However, I do not know how to tackle it. And this whole week, I've had dark, puffy eyes from the lack of sleep. Maybe I'm overreacting. I do not know. But I'm seething with discontentment. I hate negativity. It's the only hate I have for in the world. All I want to do is sleep like a baby. Ok, like a cat. I just want to sleep... a lot. I'm very tired. Yet I can't sleep. Everyone thinks I sleep a lot just because I wake up late. But in reality, I do not sleep well. When I sleep long hours, it's cos I didn't sleep the previous night! Also, I hate morning sun.

I just had coffee to 'relax' this migraine of mine (and stay sane the rest of the day). Looks like it's starting to act up again (it has been a year!!!). I prefer taking coffee for migraines than to take those pills. They make you horribly nauseous. Well, it never worked for me anyway. Of all ailments I dislike are nauseousness, migraine and constipation/diarrhoea. Nauseousness and constipation/diarrhoea because they make my stomach feel horribly funky and it feels like toxins are flowing through my system and it makes me weak and double up in bed. Migraine because it impedes my thinking (or make me think of everything at one time, like many voices in my head) and my head throbs... also along with migraine comes nauseousness... and I'm like a vampire, meaning I cannot be near bright light. And my eyes cannot focus properly and smells like perfume and rubbish makes me super giddy. That's why I want to sleep. I dread sunrise. Sure, some of you will say that I have not seen the rest of it! True.

I think I made my coffee too strong cos I'm starting to grind my teeth and clench my jaw. I hate migraines. The nauseousness is already kicking in. I wanted to go for the yoga class at 7am later but with my mind in torrential weather, it will make yoga redundant. Along with the lack of sleep, I don't want to pass out midday.

You know, I'm afraid I might have schizophrenia (or some other mental disorder). I mean, I don't have split personalities. Just that everything I do, there's always a voice narration, and sometimes, there's another voice arguing over some logic or stupidity. It drives me crazy. It doesn't happen all the time but when there are so many voices, I just clench my jaw tight and try to ignore it. The voices don't tell me to commit vices so it's not the satan right? It's crazy cos even as I type right now, a voice is narrating what I'm doing and typing while another is reprimanding me for my inept usage of grammar and vocab. This is the voice that reminded me there's too many "!" and "and".There's another voice telling me to scream. It's chaotic in this head of mind. It's throbbing and I really dread the impending sunrise.

Right now, my head and nose is swooning in pain because mummy is leaving for work and the smell of perfume and soap is so painful! I hope Alann will not use the adidas deodorant which is so strong it hits my nasal passage, forking into my head and stomach. Ok, he did. Chanel perfume + adidas deo is already making me cringe in pain, clenching my jaw. This is why I never use perfume. I always scold Fazrul for using perfume whenever he brings breakfast before going to school. The bugger just loves perfume. Even after 6 years, it's so difficult to comprehend that my nasal passage is extremely sensitive in the mornings. I mean, use perfume to school for what? It's not for me cos I don't appreciate perfume. Most young men stink anyway. Especially when their school is on a hill...

I'm really trying to stay sane, which I usually am anyway. Although lack of sleep + migraine + nausea + voices in my head + long day might make me cranky by midday.

You have been forewarned. (But really, I'm not that mean... and no, it's not a mood swing.)

Apparently I have nothing better to do...

You're GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip!! You're

strong, tough, and know how to kick some ass.

Don't forget though, no matter how manly you

think you are, you're still just a doll. God

Bless America.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Is it that obvious that I'm "manly" or "guy-ish"? Cos I'm in girly clothes most of the time... with boots. Damn weird... The more quizzes I do, the more I picture myself as a transvestite! Wait... I'm not so sensitip. Ok la.

For girls with broadband and nothing to do...
You might enjoy these clowns. Somehow, the guy in the background seem oblivious to the ruckus going on. It's idiotic, really.
Guys, if you have high tolerance capacity, you may click. Hehe...

Quizzes for the fairer gender

Your Are a Bold Brunette

Men see you as striking and mysterious - you have a certain allure. Comfortable in your own skin, you know you have a unique beauty. You don't mind attention, but you don't need to seek it out.

How Blonde Are You?

Although sometimes, we are empowered to "behave blonde" and it helps. Like you never have to carry those heavy groceries and chip a fingernail!

You're a Window Shopper!

You know that shopping's a blast, but you prefer to save your money You hardly ever give into an impulse buy, unless it's a total steal You've always got the most money of your friends - and you never have to borrow And you've got a nice wardrobe too ... of classic pieces that last years!

Are You a Shopaholic?

Probably cos I'm unemployed! Haha... Although sales make me feel afraid of women.

You Are a Tomboy

You're having too much fun to bother with nail polish and crazy diets. Guys are instead impressed by how much you know and do!

How Girlie Are You?

I am somewhat a "guy" in mind. Don't know about tomboy though...

You Are An Independent Girlfriend!

Whoa, Ms. Independent! Your guy digs your modern style... But he's sometimes left to wonder if you really like him. Keep that unique spirit, but show him your love a bit more often. No worries - you're light years away from smothering him!

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Good to be independent right. Dear are you suffering or what? No right...

You Have Him Totally Hooked

Your guy is all yours - and happily so. He loves being around you, and he totally sees you as a couple. It looks like you two have a great future together - if you want it!

Do You Have Him Hooked?

I must say it's somehow true. Don't know how I did it. Girls, there's no secrets.

Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!

Your guy is ideal, as close to Mr. Perfect as he could be If you took this quiz, you may be doubting that... Don't! No guy is perfect but yours comes really close You guys will last for many years, as long as you appreciate him!

How Long Will Your Relationship Last?

Errm... Can we trust these quizzes? Cos they all seem so true! I mean it and it's freaky.

Thoughts

This week has been filled with regular blog postings.

Last night (morning), I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to play a game on my hp in case it got my brain excited so I did something dull by scrolling through my contacts and deleting obsolete contacts. When it came to T,
Tasha
Tok Ayah
Tok Bang
Tok Ti

Tok Ayah. Instinctively, in the mode that I was in, I was about to delete it. Then... A weird realisation fell upon my conscience. I couldn't bring myself to. It was like wiping out the trace of a material existence. I was overcome by confusion and sadness... and reality. No doubt, the number will no longer be in use.

I thought about the house, the one incentive to look forward to when I'm northbound. Then I thought about how often I have used that contact, that is, calling that number. I thought about the person, my hp contact, with that number. Tok Ayah.

I still don't refer to them as arwah or the late. Is this wrong?

It's really difficult putting my thoughts into words right now. If I delete, it's like the contact disappears into oblivion. And if I don't, it will constantly bug my conscience. It seems so wrong. Somewhat a taboo.

Maybe it bugs my conscience because I have less memories of him compared to everyone else. Yet I hold on to my hp contact, Tok Ayah, to remind me that he was material and that I connected to him. Maybe technology really creates more problems for us. Not one of difficulty but of ethics. Then again, I digress as always.

I did not delete this precious contact.

If Klang is no more, where do I go? There's no more a place, by default. It makes me feel so lost.

By the way, I took Tok Ayah's scented (something like minyak attar) tasbir home. Call it the subconscious or the spiritual, but my room was filled with that scent when I got home today. Of course it's unusual as it hangs on the shelf above my bed.

My mind is turbulent with mixed feelings right now and even with 3 hours of sleep last night (this morning), I still cannot sleep now which is why I decided to blog.

I hate to be so emo but this is actually something serious. Someone tell me I'm not going mad. It's overwhelming.

P/S: Somehow, a few of us have current entries on Tok Ayah, and mine is purely coincidental.

Apologies

My sidebar is becoming packed with links I feel worthy to have a stand. It feels like I am beginning to seem like an activist of sorts and I should change my wallpaper filled with psychedelic peace symbols! Maybe I will... when I know how. I'm quite IT-challenged, if it isn't obvious yet.

Apologies to all if my sidebar links are causing any discomfort. I'm not preaching anything. I just want to share stuff that people usually take for granted.

I still cannot remember the song! Anyone from the hippie era, please enlighten me.

Yes, I've got Jefferson Airplane on my playlist now.

Disclaimer: Don't worry. As weird as I seem, as queer as to why I do not really conform, I am not crazed (or glazed, if you're that worried). Wait, is this disclaimer weird or what?

I can't remember!

The past 2 weeks, I have been listening to radio (Gold 90fm - mostly oldies). Why? Because I suddenly forgot the song that sang about the dying trees... I do not know if Gold 90fm plays it but I'm just hoping they'll miraculously play it and refresh my memory.

I do not like to forget.

Especially if they were things which could've made a difference.
I hope.

I'm a sucker for quizzes

You're A Prayer for Owen Meany!
by John Irving

Despite humble and perhaps literally small beginnings, you inspire faith in almost everyone you know. You are an agent of higher powers, and you manifest this fact in mysterious and loud ways. A sense of destiny pervades your every waking moment, and you prepare with great detail for destiny fulfilled. When you speak, IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS!

Take the Book Quiz

I do not know about being able to inspire faith or even being an agent of higher powers. Hopefully the reason is that I am still too young => An obvious sign is that I work in "mysterious" ways (talk about shameless) though I'm doubtful about the "loud" part. So do I think this quiz holds truth?

You be the judge!

You are the driest area on Earth. Your annual rainfall is roughly the depth of a dollar bill. In fact, often you can go for several years without any precipitation whatsoever. If you wanted to fill a pint glass by rainfall alone, you would have to have started in 1704, five years before the invention of the piano; to get enough water to drown a man of average height would take 3600 years, or the time between us and the Hittites. You really put Canadian "dry" ginger ale into perspective.

Which Extremity of the World Are You?

Likely.

Dream Theater

Dream Theater was so good... They rocked the stadium down. Unfortunately (or fortunately), security were everywhere, by every gate. A bunch of malaysians (with flags) started headbanging by the railing. They couldn't have injured anyone but they were all out. And the police came and tried to stop them and everything... It's a rock concert! Anyways, the police just stood around watching over the malaysians like a hawk. As for everyone else, photography of anykind were not allowed. Some people took out their handphones and in the darkness, security can see it. They pop out of nowhere with their torchlights telling you to keep it. And other security start pushing you away telling not to block the path. What path? Anyhow, Dream Theater's performance made up for all the uptightness of the management.

In general, the crowd was pretty tame. Everyone stood up and held the hands up in the air singing along, while a handful (gently) headbanged. There was no moshing or any of the actions you see on MTV. No fights. Nothing. Everyone was just there to watch Dream Theater. After 20 years in the industry, it was a treat. One for the treasure box.

Reunion dinner?

Saturday night I prepared some mega steamboat at home... By that, meaning scallops, fish, and everything else la, bought by my mom, prepared by me. We were so full, we could barely move.

Then last night, we had a buffet dinner at Royal Plaza on Scotts with my family and my aunt's family. We probably sat for 2 hours!!! We rested in between with chocolate fondue with coffee, and continued again and again. Oh heart be still! I know... as shocking as it may sound, we (or probably just me) overate! And I had to go back my mrt and walk...

And later, my family is going for seafood dinner at Clarke Quay. Again?!!! I told my mom, we can always cancel the reservation. But I'm already imagining dipping my fried mantou bun in the tangy chilli crab sauce... *drools*

There you go! Have a good holiday. I gotta rush getting ready now. Chilli crab is awaiting ;-)

P/S: Chocolate fondue...
Fruit pieces on a stick
Marshmallows on a stick
Warm dark chocolate fountain

Oh, alright...

Hello hello...

Ok, so I have succumbed... Lyna convinced me to resurrect my blog and here it is. Unknown to you, I can be boring. It's really kinda weird knowing your elders read it! Plus, I have to watch my language... Ahaha... not that I'm a vulgar person to begin with.

If you look through my archives and read right from the beginning (which has been almost 2yrs) you'll realise that I can be incessantly incoherent. Might make reading easier but understanding difficult. Well, don't try to understand. My brain works in strange ways that I can't always catch up with it. Of course, I'm not saying I'm some genius (or the other opposite extreme). Just that the human body is one of the wondrous creations that as deep as science delves, it's almost impossible to comprehend its character.

Ok, my mesin now is quite karat (with respect to blogging and other things maybe). For starters, I have no breaking news except that come 27th (this Friday), I'm going for the 20th anniversary tour concert of Dream Theater! I am so excited!!! Somehow, excitement makes me hungry. And just thinking about being excited, I'm hungry right now. I know, it's weird. But I think, it's possibly due to the fact that excitement stimulates the secretion of adrenaline and adrenaline makes your heart, lungs and muscle work harder to prepare for fight or flight. This expands energy (probably miniscule in calorie counts) and somehow or rather, certain centres in the brain demand compensation such as food and rest. As weird as it sounds, I just theorised something which may pass off as a fact, and I'm not saying I'm wrong. Just that based on what I've studied, it might be true!

There you go, this entry ends with something incoherent as I've forewarned.

Long hairs unite!

Ok, what's the problem with having long hair? I've had to bear many stupid questions (to which my answer is) :

• Isn't it hot/warm? (No, if it's hot, I can bun it up and it's cooler)
• How long have you been keeping it? (Ever since I said "no" to the hairdresser)
• Don't you want short hair? (Sometimes, but it's like that, isn't it? Don't you wish you had long hair?)
• How do you wash it? (Normal la... Shampoo and condition)
• Don't you think you'll cut your hair? (Nope, but I trim it myself thank you.)
• How can you stand having long hair? (What do you mean? Act confused.)
• Your hair like pontianak! (Smile and say "Ya, I'm really after your blood" and laugh)

And what doesn't help me with all the questions is that I have curly/wavy/frizzy hair rolled in one...

• Don't you want straight hair? (Yes, but why are ppl perming their hair these days?)
• Are you going to rebond? (Not unless someone can pay $300 monthly maintenance for me)
• Isn't it itchy/scratchy? (Offer my head and say "touch". It's really fluffy like cotton!)
• How do you manage it? (Leave-in conditioner to protect and non-alcohol mousse to 'lock' the curls)
• Aren't you going to cut it? (And let me look like scary spice?! No thank you.)
• Don't you get split-ends? (Err, nope. No matter how bushy it looks, I cannot find a split-end. I condition and trim my ends.)
• Doesn't it get tangled? (No. All I have to do is wet my hair with my hands and run it with my finger and am ready to go. I look the same before I go to bed and when I get up!)
  

I think there could me many sincere and dumb questions and I do envy straight hair... and short hair. Because I have thin hair, it helps that I would never go for straightening unless I want to look like I'm balding! And long hair gives me a certain empowerment that I cannot put a finger to. Everyone around me especially my parents want me to cut it... It is sad that people think I don't look good in it, or hate long hair and there are certain discriminations against curly hair. People are afraid or disgusted as though I'm some Medussa.

Before you ask me dumb questions, ask to touch my hair and then you judge. Long, curly hair isn't as scary as that of a pontianak's, really. Well, maybe mine isn't as bad as people (have influenced me to) think. And to think I almost attempted to cut it short!

So I'm guilty of contemplating on snipping it up to above my shoulders. Then I couldn't bear to so I had it more bold-layered instead, from my chin to the length (which is now above my waist). I usually keep it slightly below the navel (longest length, not layered length). I have also cut my fringe to lighten off my hairline load and being the nincompoop that I am, I straightened it. But being the dumbass of a hairdresser, she layered my fringe to above my brows! And then I remembered why I never visit the hairdresser.

Now, I look like a little girl with a Jap hairstyle of long, layered perm and short chinadoll fringe. It is disastrous (to me). The consolation is, at least people pay hundreds to have my hairdo and I only paid $50 to straighten my fringe and trim/layer my length!

The worst question people ask me is

• Where did you perm you hair? (It's natural, I only iron my fringe once a while)
• Real curl ar? Cannot be leh... ( Smile.)
• But your hair look so unhealthy and dry... (Work the science. Curly=rough surface=>disperse light in all directions = not glossy like straight, black hair)
  

Hair ettiquette for men

If it's winter, and you're heling her put on a coat, you might help her by lifting her hair up gently, before she puts the coat on. Another way would be to gently wind her hair around her neck loosely like a scarf, and she puts her coat on over that. You don't want her to get her long hair caught under her coat, or have to sit on it.

If you are helping her into a car, you might help by gently picking her hair up and bringing it around to her front, so she can keep control of it. You don't want to shut her hair in the car door.

Be careful in crowds, because people will come right up and start touching her hair; if one of these people has a cigarette in their hand and they aren't paying attention..you know what might happen. So you have to be more attentive when you are in a crowd.

If you are walking down stairs together, if her hair is kneelength or longer, you might want to walk behind her, as her hair might drag on the steps behind her, and someone might come up and inadvertently step on it..painful.

If you go dancing, you should put your arm under hair, not over it.

If you are buying any clothing for them, you might want to consider getting something that will enable her to wear her hair down..fabrics like rayon, satin, silks, anything that allows her hair to slide on the fabric and not catch. It will keep it from tangling when it is down, and is much more comfortable, and you will like the way it flows and swirls more easily against this kind of fabric.

The same goes for nightwear. It's best if she wears something like this if you plan on combing/brushing her hair....I'm really on a roll, and I'm going to tell you how to do this, as well.

First, you have to be very careful, women are very protective of their hair, the longer it is, the more careful they have to be.

If the hair is longer than mid-back, I would suggest you use a wide toothed comb instead of a hairbrush. Otherwise you might tangle it.

You could have her sitting in a chair without a back, and you could stand or kneel behind her to brush or comb it. Yo should put one hand on the top of her head to steady her head as you gently pull the comb through. You might use short strokes, not going all the way through to her nape at first. It will be easier to straighten her hair that way, Or you might even have her comb her hair out first.

Another way would be for her to bend her head forward and you comb or brush her hair starting at the nape and going forward from there. It pulls less on the scalp, and you're not combing the more tender areas of the temple.

Another way , if her hair wasn't too long, would be for her to be standing or sitting in a chair facing you, and you let her rest her forehead on your chest, and you can comb her hair that way. That might be the best.

If you decide to carry her off into the sunset, yo shuld first bring her hair over her shoulder to her front, before you pick her up. Anything that causes her hair to get "caught" will really make her anxious.

Bed linens should be satin if she is wearing her hair down.

If she sees you treating her hair reverently, she will like you all the more, as she considers her hair a part of herself and you are honoring her when you do these things.

This etiquette was provided by Suzy, herself having floor length hair.

Tokmak

Recently, my granny just passed away. It was in the middle of the night when she was in bed and told my granddad that she felt breathless. He massaged her and she left the world like that. I'd like to see it as leaving peacefully, with your loved one by your side, painlessly. Almost ten years ago, my great-grandmother passed away. She was bedridden for 2 years before her passing.

May God bless their souls. Al-fatihah.

I didn't cry, although I was sad. As I watched my aunts cry while my granddad looked calm, I teared because I wondered how he can keep it all to himself. He is such a strong man.

The last time I went over was last Nov, for Lyna's wedding. During my visit this time, I realised how much I missed the charm of Malaysia. It is so laid back, even in kl... except for the traffic! Then again, I know it is not the place for me anytime soon... Maybe it isn't the country that I miss... but my family there.

Mindless?

I'm pretty much mindless these days... and am enjoying it. I'm making fruity meringue kisses, eating choc-mint brussels, chocolate crepes, watching ngc and discovery, reorganising my wardrobe according to colours... that's right. I've got colours now (think butterflies!) Ahaha... And god knows what I've been surfing online instead of my schoolwork! But come next week, I'll be on the bullet train to my exams. Did I say prepare for my exams? ~_^

Time to get mindless again. I've got a couple of weeks left!
Ahaha... (increase vol - soft recording)

Halloween not.

It's Halloween tomorrow and I'm not even excited about dressing up. Signs that I'm aging too fast?! I remember how Halloween found me the support of my life. He was there looking so dark and mysterious. I just had to ask him for the last dance. How many years has it been? Sometimes college seems like yesterday. And so the story began. I don't even have to beat about the bush singing

where do I begin?
to tell the story of how great alove can be...
the sweet love story that is older than the sea... ... ...

I usually do away with the mushy stuff. What is love then? Definitely not all the goosebumps-inducing acts. It's more subtle than surprises, gifts, words and poems. It's not about the obvious actions. Women tend to overlook the little things men do and usually try to find a fault to "make him a better man for her". I guess I do that sometimes. And I'm not really guilty of it!

The different Languages of Love.

• Service is a Language of Love.
  
• Gifting is a Language of Love.
• Sharing is a Language of Love.
• Time is a Language of Love.
• Sex is a Language of Love.
• Attention is a Language of Love.
• Patience is a Language of Love.
• Support is a Language of Love.
• Forgiveness is a Language of Love.
• Non-Judgment is a Language of Love.
• Understanding is a Language of Love.
• Mercy is a Language of Love.
• Compassion is a Language of Love

Of course, love doesn't mean that tingly happy feeling with a partner. It applies to everything and everyone. Love the nature around you and don't neglect or abuse it. Love the greens for giving you your essential minerals and fibre, and being the lungs of the earth (not when ingested of course). It is an intrinsic thing to love the nature.

Click here!

Click and read carefully

I found this site by googling "weapons of mass destruction"...
Now, I should get back to googling FTIR stuff for my pharmaceutical analysis report. Discipline, focus, focus! Right... I ended up putting in 3 blog entries and before I start crapping again, I'm outta here. Fade, Nina... now you know why I was MIA so long?

Sissy ol' me.

How much I've grown... Well, physically, not much :-( unless you call fats growth, which scientifically, isn't. An increase in protoplasm, ie. protein, would be considered growth. Accumulation of physical weight due to water, carbo and fats is pretty much expansion. Ok, that's besides the point.

I am starting to lose my men-mind... or maybe gaining more women-mind! First of all, I bought a pretty black satin dress adorned with colourful butterfly prints. Lately, my collection of pink items have increased 3 folds. I wear my heeled boots, not the rugged ones. I straighten my fringe to look prissy and gone are the days with the rugged rock hairstyle... Although I haven't fallen into manicures and pedicures (mainly because I cook and do stuff with my hands which ruin the edges and stain the cuticles). I adorn myself with accessories. I wear less kohl to tone down my old "goth" look. I carry bags on my forearm to distribute the weight. I am staring to wear face powder. I start to nag my guy friends once in a while.

Yikes.

Ok, maybe I am a little off the scale than I used to be. At least I still listen to only rock, classical, blues and some jazz. At least my guy friends still think I'm one of them. At least I still read espionage thrillers and have not read a single romance novel (unless you consider the Rice's Vampire Chronicle romance!). Haha... sounds like an identity crisis or sort of a coming-of-age entry. Yes, I'm in denial! Fine, I admit I like pink except that I would rather be caught dead in it. I guess it's time to embrace the pinkies and the butterflies (shudder). It's like men's ego I tell you. To be critical of things pink, sissy and un-rock. For the ladies, I now have something to fight for when my guy friends tease me for wearing pink and flowers. It is not funny. Pink is a nice, like Pink Floyd and I'd like to Shine On You Crazy Diamond cos it's the Sunshine of Your Love. It's really like Nights in White Satin when the Sultans of Swing sing Proud Mary who isn't Down on the Corner of China Grove. I'm like a Free Bird on a Magic Carpet Ride. Who says I'm on a Highway to Hell when this Purple Haze is great?

See, I still rawk!


P/S: Purple, black and maroon are still my favourite colours, especially in that combination... not the lilac kinda purple though. However I'm collecting more whites and beige. Damn, do I sound ditsy? Do I? Do I?!!! See, only women can pull this off ;-)

Daddy's little girl...

You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold,
You're daddy's little girl, to have and to hold...

Bedazzled

So today I've started wearing my new rock! A yellow sapphire set in a ring I designed. I think it's quite nice and simple and I know what to hand down to my future descendants... Haha... In addition to the 8 carat African amethyst pendant. The colour and the clarity cannot be compared to diamonds.

Goodness, I'm only a student and I speak of such riches... Oh well, for one, the amethyst and the yellow sapphire are my "birth stones" and I only got them for my recent birthday. I believe it brings harmony to the body with the surroundings. It's natural after all... I guess, belief is something people hold on to, to assure themselves that something will be right.

I feel after the long break from blogging, I have yet to get used to writing things spontaneously cos now, my mind is filled with so many things, I don't even know what to write about!

I've been keeping my mind free of issues lately and probably I find myself at peace (more than usual) since I pray more often in this holy month. There were a few periods in my life when I thought I was going to die. There was also a period when I didn't care if I died. Now, I hold on to life so firmly I get stressed if my cab starts tailgating motorcyclists. The last thing I want is for someone to get hurt because of me.

One thing I believe truly is that things happen for a reason. I reckon God has a lot in store for all of us. If life is always fair, would any of us have anything to talk about?