Ok, what's the problem with having long hair? I've had to bear many stupid questions (to which my answer is) :
- Isn't it hot/warm? (No, if it's hot, I can bun it up and it's cooler)
- How long have you been keeping it? (Ever since I said "no" to the hairdresser)
- Don't you want short hair? (Sometimes, but it's like that, isn't it? Don't you wish you had long hair?)
- How do you wash it? (Normal la... Shampoo and condition)
- Don't you think you'll cut your hair? (Nope, but I trim it myself thank you.)
- How can you stand having long hair? (What do you mean? Act confused.)
- Your hair like pontianak! (Smile and say "Ya, I'm really after your blood" and laugh)
And what doesn't help me with all the questions is that I have curly/wavy/frizzy hair rolled in one...
- Don't you want straight hair? (Yes, but why are ppl perming their hair these days?)
- Are you going to rebond? (Not unless someone can pay $300 monthly maintenance for me)
- Isn't it itchy/scratchy? (Offer my head and say "touch". It's really fluffy like cotton!)
- How do you manage it? (Leave-in conditioner to protect and non-alcohol mousse to 'lock' the curls)
- Aren't you going to cut it? (And let me look like scary spice?! No thank you.)
- Don't you get split-ends? (Err, nope. No matter how bushy it looks, I cannot find a split-end. I condition and trim my ends.)
- Doesn't it get tangled? (No. All I have to do is wet my hair with my hands and run it with my finger and am ready to go. I look the same before I go to bed and when I get up!)
I think there could me many sincere and dumb questions and I do envy straight hair... and short hair. Because I have thin hair, it helps that I would never go for straightening unless I want to look like I'm balding! And long hair gives me a certain empowerment that I cannot put a finger to. Everyone around me especially my parents want me to cut it... It is sad that people think I don't look good in it, or hate long hair and there are certain discriminations against curly hair. People are afraid or disgusted as though I'm some Medussa.
Before you ask me dumb questions, ask to touch my hair and then you judge. Long, curly hair isn't as scary as that of a pontianak's, really. Well, maybe mine isn't as bad as people (have influenced me to) think. And to think I almost attempted to cut it short!
So I'm guilty of contemplating on snipping it up to above my shoulders. Then I couldn't bear to so I had it more bold-layered instead, from my chin to the length (which is now above my waist). I usually keep it slightly below the navel (longest length, not layered length). I have also cut my fringe to lighten off my hairline load and being the nincompoop that I am, I straightened it. But being the dumbass of a hairdresser, she layered my fringe to above my brows! And then I remembered why I never visit the hairdresser.
Now, I look like a little girl with a Jap hairstyle of long, layered perm and short chinadoll fringe. It is disastrous (to me). The consolation is, at least people pay hundreds to have my hairdo and I only paid $50 to straighten my fringe and trim/layer my length!
The worst question people ask me is
- Where did you perm you hair? (It's natural, I only iron my fringe once a while)
- Real curl ar? Cannot be leh... ( Smile.)
- But your hair look so unhealthy and dry... (Work the science. Curly=rough surface=>disperse light in all directions = not glossy like straight, black hair)
Hair ettiquette for men
If it's winter, and you're heling her put on a coat, you might help her by lifting her hair up gently, before she puts the coat on. Another way would be to gently wind her hair around her neck loosely like a scarf, and she puts her coat on over that. You don't want her to get her long hair caught under her coat, or have to sit on it.
If you are helping her into a car, you might help by gently picking her hair up and bringing it around to her front, so she can keep control of it. You don't want to shut her hair in the car door.
Be careful in crowds, because people will come right up and start touching her hair; if one of these people has a cigarette in their hand and they aren't paying attention..you know what might happen. So you have to be more attentive when you are in a crowd.
If you are walking down stairs together, if her hair is kneelength or longer, you might want to walk behind her, as her hair might drag on the steps behind her, and someone might come up and inadvertently step on it..painful.
If you go dancing, you should put your arm under hair, not over it.
If you are buying any clothing for them, you might want to consider getting something that will enable her to wear her hair down..fabrics like rayon, satin, silks, anything that allows her hair to slide on the fabric and not catch. It will keep it from tangling when it is down, and is much more comfortable, and you will like the way it flows and swirls more easily against this kind of fabric.
The same goes for nightwear. It's best if she wears something like this if you plan on combing/brushing her hair....I'm really on a roll, and I'm going to tell you how to do this, as well.
First, you have to be very careful, women are very protective of their hair, the longer it is, the more careful they have to be.
If the hair is longer than mid-back, I would suggest you use a wide toothed comb instead of a hairbrush. Otherwise you might tangle it.
You could have her sitting in a chair without a back, and you could stand or kneel behind her to brush or comb it. Yo should put one hand on the top of her head to steady her head as you gently pull the comb through. You might use short strokes, not going all the way through to her nape at first. It will be easier to straighten her hair that way, Or you might even have her comb her hair out first.
Another way would be for her to bend her head forward and you comb or brush her hair starting at the nape and going forward from there. It pulls less on the scalp, and you're not combing the more tender areas of the temple.
Another way , if her hair wasn't too long, would be for her to be standing or sitting in a chair facing you, and you let her rest her forehead on your chest, and you can comb her hair that way. That might be the best.
If you decide to carry her off into the sunset, yo shuld first bring her hair over her shoulder to her front, before you pick her up. Anything that causes her hair to get "caught" will really make her anxious.
Bed linens should be satin if she is wearing her hair down.
If she sees you treating her hair reverently, she will like you all the more, as she considers her hair a part of herself and you are honoring her when you do these things.
This etiquette was provided by Suzy, herself having floor length hair.
